WATM - 021 - Alvaro Fernandez
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[00:00:00] If you're a man listening to this podcast and wondering how do I take the first step into a life of purpose, leadership, and impact, then I wanna invite you to join. We are the Men Initiation, a 12 week transformative group experience starting April 2nd. Go to we are the men.com/initiation, or click on the link in the show notes to find out more and use the code Podcast for 10% off registration now on with the show. Welcome, everyone. I'm your host, Angelo Santiago, and this is the We Are The Men podcast, a show that is dedicated to sharing the stories of men who are all connected by a commitment to having a positive impact on the world through the actions they take. My guest today is Alvaro Fernandez. Alvaro is a meditation coach with a background in transpersonal psychology.
Angelo: He's also a [00:01:00] father and a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. From his home in Mexico, he has focused on his passion to help people all over the world achieve their goals. through a system he has created that includes NLP tools, meditation on mindfulness and fourth way philosophy principles. He has been practicing meditations of presence for more than 25 years and also facilitating self defense concepts.
I'm really excited to have Alvaro here to really connect with him for the first time. We've never actually talked and met. It's, this is a beautiful new connection, which I'm always excited about.
And there's so much about and what I've shared here that I'm
curious about, right? Like what it takes to become a black
belt in, in BJJ, what it
takes to be so passionate and committed to meditation,
to be
doing it for 25 years so, it's an
honor to have you here.
I'm so grateful and excited for this conversation.
Alvaro: thank you very much, Angelo. It's a pleasure to be here. Very happy to share. and
thank you for the opportunity to expose my [00:02:00] story.
Angelo: And the other thing we were talking about is like how, how great it is to have these conversations with men, not only from all over the world, right, but also from different backgrounds, different experiences, different age ranges, because every conversation that I get to have on this podcast, I know will.
will have an impact on somebody that's listening out there that that can relate to to maybe who you are and your
story and and a little bit of
the wisdom that you have to share. And so as we start getting into this conversation, I always like to start
these recordings and these conversations about
like an understanding of where you are in your
life right now. The season you find yourself, the experience that you're having of life both in the external world that's around you, but also the internal experience that you're having of life,
So share a little bit to connect us
with where you are in life right now and what's calling you forward.
Alvaro: I am very happy, very, very mature now. I can say because I am putting together my passion. I am
trying to live on what
I really wanted all the
time. I [00:03:00] am an entrepreneur. I have
business.
I've been in the food and beverage
business for 17 years now. , but I, I am now
devoting more time on helping people and coaching people, martial arts.
That's my real passion. You know, I have nothing
against business for sure, but it takes time. It takes energy. And now this is the time in my life where I can focus more, way more time on a specific what I want. So I am, I'm very, It's a dream come true. This is my passion. This is my goal and my purpose, to share mental health, to share meditation, these tools that can help people in order to achieve their goals.
But not only that is sometimes to auto regulate stress stay away from anxiety, depression without I'm not saying. Medicine is bad, but what I mean is, by your own efforts, by your own habits, get a better way of life, a better lifestyle. And if you can get that, [00:04:00] for me it's fulfilling, you know, this is my goal. I am super happy to, to share that many of my clients are very happy with the tools they've been getting and the results. And they are way more closer to the, to living the life they want and the lifestyle they want. So for that, in this moment in my life, of course, there are things about, you know, you have to take care of your health.
Sometimes you cannot lose weight as you used to or things like that, but are minor. But adapting, adapting to changes, right? Like this is the way we are supposed to be facing life. At least for me, this is my, my personal philosophy. And I'm trying to expand. I'm trying to be more receptive also.
And changing what I need to change in order to, to adapt to, this moment in life. To be in the present. That's my, my whole pillar.
Angelo: I love that. I love what you're talking about. The adaptation, the adapting to the change, because change is constantly happening, like, [00:05:00] you mentioned, right. As you get older, maybe you start noticing these changes. Oh, maybe I can't do this as well. Or I'm struggling with this a little bit . I know for me, like in my twenties and as I entered into my thirties, I was.
Really hesitant to Acknowledge the change that was happening in my life both in marriage and becoming a father and all these things I was like I wanted everything to stay the same and it was when I learned to adapt to what was happening to me that Life got so much better and I became so
much more present in my life.
So I loved you touched on that and even the piece
on medicine nothing against medicine. You know,
, for example, I've been having this ache in my shoulder
for like
the last
two weeks and a part of me is just like, Oh, let me just
take some muscle relaxants and feel better. But it's like, no, like, can I breathe through, this?
Can I understand like what's going on in my body? Can I stretch more? Can I feel the, the emotions that maybe are knotted up in my body? Can I, sit with it and what is it trying to show me? So I love that that is a piece that
you work through with your clients.
Alvaro: Exactly. Yeah. The thing is, work through,
you know, work through, try to make your own lifestyle in good habits and [00:06:00] adaptation. Like I said, like you have to grow, you know, like neuroplasticity
now it's very popular, no? and you have to give new meanings to things, to, to health, to, you cannot just be taking pills for everything.
Imagine I
do Jiu Jitsu for 17 years now. And imagine if I, every time I have an
egg or something, I can take a pill, my, my liver wouldn't stand it, right? Like I cannot live by now. So I have to start also ancient medicine. Like in Mexico, we take a lot of teas and plants and things that can help in a smoother way, but also stretching.
I do yoga. I do yoga every day in the mornings. I do some sun salutations and try to stretch, try to be. aware of my, of my well being my, my, my body. And sometimes I don't train like I have, I can say now today I'm not going to train today. I'm not going to spar, right? And it's for the best. And for me, it's been working.
Thanks God I don't have any fractures or nothing. [00:07:00] Not, not too dramatic. I had my own past yeah, injuries in the neck. It was very bad, but many years ago. And from there I met yoga and then I, I didn't let go of yoga at all. No, so it's about balance for me. That is my, I'm sharing my own perspective.
And for me, it's been that. And my friends, my breed, the guys that came with me, black belts, many have unfortunately knee injuries, knee operations, and, you know, because they don't do the yoga, they don't are more stiff. And this is also something about here, you know, the, the, the mind. So once you start stretching, it's not only the body, but your, your heart, your mind, and then you are more open and then it can be easier for, for, for you to, to adapt.
That's exactly what
we were talking about.
Angelo: Yeah, that's the key word here And you know as you're talking as I'm like feeling you and experiencing you like the two words that are really coming [00:08:00] alive for me beyond adaptation and adapting is is passion and Discipline and those are two such important things that everyone needs to have but you know This being the we are the men podcast like I'm talking to men out here like if you get clear on your passion and you have the discipline to explore it and Follow through with it.
, I'm looking at a man right now here that I see that in, in like the things that you've been able to accomplish is really remarkable. So I want to let's talk about those two. Let's start off with passion because when you checked in and I asked you about the season of life you're in, you talked about being able to follow this passion of yours.
And yes, you dedicated your life to business and these other things in the past, and there's
no, I don't sense any like regret or like, I wish I didn't do that, but it's like, now I get to
focus on these passions. So I invite you to like, share a little bit.
for someone who's listening who maybe feels a little lost
on like what they're passionate about or they're just kind of going through the day to day motions of like this is what I have to do I don't have time for my passions like what [00:09:00] unlocked in you that allowed you to follow the passion and like what's coming from it like now that you do are in it and
feeling it like how does how does how do you get to live life in that way
Alvaro: Thank you. It's a really good question, Angelo. Actually, the thing is, I guess, self understanding, self knowledge is, the first thing
that can get
you there. Like, like
you mentioned, someone maybe hearing
this
podcast and don't know exactly what to do. The thing is, you have to know yourself. What are the things that you are willing to do?
What are the things that you like to do? What are
the things that sometimes with all due respect, so many people don't know.
Many people don't know and that's the, it's because it's so comfortable nowadays life. And then you have a incoming check, you have your, your girl, you have, then you, oh, well, I can see Netflix for the weekend.
I can see, you know, but you're not moving towards anything like really cat is moving. You know, it's, it's I've been talking to many men in men's circles and there [00:10:00] is lack of this. And I said, try, but the main, the main thing for me. I was very, very fortunate to get to know meditation, for example, very early, when I was around 20, 22, 21.
And then that helped me to understand myself, to know myself, and then to decide. So that's a key thing I can share with you. Of course, everything needs work. But my teacher used to say like, okay, let's see, let's put this question. What would you do if you had a hundred million dollars right now in your bank account?
What would you do? What would be your day like,
Angelo: yeah
Alvaro: you know, and that's, if there's something constructive, is there something that can serve? Is that something that is going to fulfill you? Because everybody can say, I will have a yacht. I will have a house. I will have a. Rolex, whatever. Yeah. But that doesn't fulfill.
You cannot put the judge inside your house. You cannot, you have [00:11:00] to, you cannot wear the, the Rolex in the bathtub. You know, like it's, it's, it's some things like it's outside, but what is inside? No, what would be the, the, the fulfillment inside? So how would you, how would you take next day? Now, money is not a matter.
It's not a thing. Well, how would you like to live? And I am very, very fortunate to say, if I had a hundred million dollars in my account right now, I would be doing 90 percent of the things I do today. And I think that's, that's my goal. Like I'm, I'm super grateful. If I die today, I'm very happy. You know, like that's, that's important thing.
And I tell to my students, because I have young students in my Jiu Jitsu classes, try to say that, you know, like. Keep focus, try to fulfill inside, you know, have a, and then you'll find your, your call, you'll find your purpose that, that word also is huge, right?
Angelo: that's right. It is and I invite who you know If you were listening to [00:12:00] this and you heard Alvaro's question about what would you be doing? Like what was the first thing that came to your mind when you heard that question and explore that for me? I just want to share because you said it and I sat here thinking here for a second and the first thing that came in Mind like oh man, I'd be getting on a plane and traveling the world and then I kind of broke it down a little bit It's like well, is that like kind of you know?
What does that really mean? And to me, what that means, it's like, I'm here to explore. I'm here to meet
people, to understand
their stories, to understand what different cultures are like to learn from
different aspects of,
of humanity. And when I look at my life right now, and
even in doing this
podcast, it's like, with the means
that I have, like I am doing that thing. And so, yeah, with this additional.
this allows me to do more of what I'm already doing, which is great.
But it's like that, that doesn't necessarily prevent me not, having
a hundred million dollars. It doesn't prevent me from doing that thing. That's at the
core of the desire. So that you brought that
Alvaro: Exactly. I mean, thanks God. I've been, I've been traveling the world for a long time. I, the only, I, [00:13:00] I've been visiting four, four of the continents and also traveling the world is not, it
doesn't
necessarily have to be fulfilling. Like if you
take a bad tour, the guy of the tour is bad, you know, like
the weather is worse and you're in the beach, it's raining. Yeah, you are in
freaking Bali, but this is raining is, is, and you're
being like, no, enjoying yourself. It's not, it's not necessary. It's not one of the things it's true. I'm not taking anything from traveling for sure. What I mean, I'm trying to say it doesn't have to be the answer. It's not going to fulfill you.
It's not going to make you happy just because, no, just because like, if you have a purpose. It's different every day would be like, it doesn't matter if it's raining. It doesn't matter if it's difficult. It doesn't matter if there's an adversity, you will face it because you are happy inside. No, it's not only happy you're fulfilled.
No. And that's a little, you know, like. Yeah, yeah. I've been traveling and just traveling by traveling is not [00:14:00] always like the best time in your
life.
Angelo: yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Life is life. No matter if you, if you have it, you know, all the, all the money in the world or you have none of it, life will, will bring. experiences in front of you to see if you are in alignment with your passion, with your purposes, with your desires, with that which you want to create in this life.
And so this is such a huge important reminder. And I want to step in now to the second thing that I talked about the second word, that word of discipline, which is something that a lot of men, you know, focus on. And there's a whole bunch of people out there that are just like, just do it, you know, every single day, just show up and do it.
But the one thing I want to say that you touched on that I really love is it's not just about like, just doing it. If you feel bad, just keep doing it. If you're hurting, just keep doing. It's like at that point, you're starting to break yourself down. There is an aspect about discipline, about like making sure you do certain things even when it's challenging.
But there's something that men need to pay attention to that. It's like, can I make the choice to not do this [00:15:00] thing today and be okay with it and know that I'm doing this for this other reason, which is equally as important, which is to taking care of my body, taking care of my health, connecting deeper with
my, my wife or my son, you know, I'm going to take a break from this for today, but
that doesn't erode my discipline.
It doesn't erode the passion and the insistence that I'm here to be a better man. So talk a little bit about, cause you shared like today. I'm not going to go roll. I'm not
going to do this because I need to take care of my body. So speak a little bit to the, what it takes for 25 years of meditation practice and all these years of jujitsu to get to the black belt.
Like what does discipline look like and what does
honoring yourself within that discipline also look
Alvaro: It's a great question again, Angelo. Thank you.
Being in the present, it's so
big, this world is so
huge because if you are attending yourself to be
disciplined, but you are doing
it in a mechanical [00:16:00] way, just do it because you said you
have to do it. I'm not sure if that
works with all due respect for your listening and yourself.
And in my experience, it doesn't work because it's just putting one thing on top of the other. So where you were chilling, watching Netflix, and now you have to do something, but you don't, you don't like to do it. Or you don't feel like we, I tell to my students in meditation because I'm coaching meditation.
And I said. We are not machines. We are not computers. You don't have to turn a button that turn on and you are 100%. Sometimes you have a problem with your wife or with your couple and that will tune you down, you know, and then sometimes you have problems at work or sometimes The, but two, these big problems come together and then you feel really low. And then on top of that, you want to do some things like mechanically just doing it because you, you say you wanna do it, it will help, but it's not, it's not the same. Like you have to be aware of the present. [00:17:00] What's the present I need today? What do I need today? I am willing to do this is according to what I have to do if I, if I have an injury, I go to roll this injury is going to grow and then I'm not going to be able to run for a month or more or whatever.
So where is your mind? You are not a machine. You don't have to do things just automatically. The thing is that we are not used to be in the present, and it's easier for us to program. Okay, I'm going to do this in this month and then I do it, but I'm not there. I'm not present. I'm not enjoying. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not enjoying. I'm not in the present. And if I'm not there, what is or where is your attention? So meditation is attention management and you can be doing exercise but you are thinking about eating cornflakes, being watching the Netflix, being with your girl, then it's Boring. Of course, it's going to be boring because you are not there with full presence, no?
So, this is why it's important to, when you find your [00:18:00] passion, you can do things. Whatever, I'm happy. I was living in Montreal and I used to go to Jiu Jitsu training. With minus 30 degrees, my freaking eyebrows will like frozen and what are you training? Like everybody was like, it's storm. I'm training, man, but I is not, it's not for showing off.
. Or it's like, it's for me. I am enjoying it. I do it. I don't, I don't care if I have to go through this and then I would there, I see the guys I draw and for me, it was fulfilling. This is the difference, right? And if I said, you go to do that task under minus 30 degrees, you will say, I don't wanna, da da da da da da.
Exactly. And then be present is very, very important, but you have to practice. How do you practice presence? In my experience with meditation, if you don't manage your attention, you don't know what you want, you don't know where you are, and then you don't know where are you moving [00:19:00] forward. So where are you want to move towards?
Then I have in my presence being able to choose. I'm training. I'm not training. Yes, of course. A part of me wants to train. Of course. Yeah, but I know I've been doing it. And if I do it, it's going to be worse. Slow down, breathe, you know, take, and then I do, I do calligraphy Japanese calligraphy, Shoto is another martial art.
And so if there's time for me to, to do some calligraphy, I cannot go to roll. Then I, I do, and I'm still working on number one. No, it's very difficult. It's very, it has to be with breathing. It has to be in certain positions, certain time breathing, every strike. So that's why it's called a martial art in Japan.
So then got time to do this. Then have you ever, have I been practicing? No. Okay. So you're not practicing Jiu Jitsu. That doesn't mean I'm gonna sit down, eat popcorn, you know, like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on. [00:20:00] Set up everything, the ink, and then I start, I start working. So I guess for me, at least it's more efficient.
You know, you want to be efficient with your life, you want to, if you go training when you have an injury, that's not efficient. I'm not judging if it's good or it's bad, if you are disciplined or undisciplined, it's not efficient. Why I want to choose, talking about men's work, are you, you are own, owning your choices.
ownership.
So I'm not going to go there just to injure you because I know what it's
going to be like. Then I, I, I honor my, my body. I honor myself. And because I want to keep training, I want to keep my goal. I want to reach it. Then I don't go. So it's more open, more criteria, more, more open mind. And it's, I think I, I blame it on, on meditation.
That's what it gives me. No, they say it's a superpower. We said it with my [00:21:00] students.
Angelo: I love this Alva. I mean, I, everything that you shared there, I think it's worthy of like, if you're listening to this, like rewind it a little bit, like listen to it again. There was so much richness and so much depth in, in, in what you just shared. And specifically for me, it's like the importance that self awareness piece of knowing, right.
Am I the type of person when it comes to discipline, let's, let's stay on that topic. Am I the type of person that says like, no, I don't want to do this because I don't feel like it. Like, you know, I just want to do something else like making excuses, right? You need to have the self awareness that is that why I'm not doing the thing?
Or am I not doing the thing because no, I want to do a little self care. I want to practice something else, right? Another martial art. I want to tend to my relationships, like things that are just as important in my life as the thing that I am disciplined to. So without that self awareness, which from you, it seems like it comes from that deep meditation practice.
You don't know that about yourself. So it's all about looking inward. So if you're listening, right, it's, it's take a look at [00:22:00] the actions that you're taking, the decisions you're making and what are they based on? Are they based other on other high priorities that you have in your life? Or are they based on the desire to not?
Feel the challenge, not feel struggled, not feel tension because that's an avoidance. And so it's important to know. So Alvaro, we've been talking about a lot of amazing stuff. I do, you know, I'm curious, like how a
man gets to where
you are today. And I'm sure that so many people are, and you talked about that you were in your early twenties when you started
meditation.
In just a short amount of time, if possible, just paint a little
picture of like what was what
was it that brought you to
that point
of stepping into meditation, stepping into the discipline of the everything that you're doing, like what was life like
before for you and what shifts happened in your life to
bring you to where you are, you are today. And I know that's
a long story and in a short amount of time,
but just what are the
highlights that you want to touch on for
Alvaro: Thank you, Angelo. Well, unfortunately, it was pain. My father passed away when I was [00:23:00] 21 and
my daughter born when I was 22. So huge, huge shifts in consciousness, in my present, in my life.
And I didn't find anything was worth it. I was in drugs, I was in alcohol, I was with bad company. I was doing stuff. I'm not very proud, but those
harsh, harsh moments, harsh times brought me to something better, you know, brought me to something positive.
And it is, it's something very peculiar that happened. I was visiting a friend that was in jail talking about this, this friends and not good company, but and when he handed me a book of fourth way. Philosophy and I was like, what? And when I saw him, he was smiling. He was having a good time. And I was like, what the , man?
Are you super high or what's going on? Like, how come one of the worst things that can happen to any man in the world, no matter who you are, politician, rich, whatever, you go [00:24:00] to jail and it's jail. And he was okay. And I was like, super like, wow, what, what are you doing? What's going on? And he said, read this book. And then this is what it has me here in this state of mind. And then I started reading it and I was like in love. And I said, wow, this is a really efficient way to see life, you know, for the ways for me, super, super efficient way to see spirituality, to see meditation, to see presence. They talk a lot about presence.
And then I joined a school. I start with a, with a teacher and after a few years, I started jiu jitsu like when I was 28. So I was, I had like eight years in between meditation, practice presence. I met my teacher, my first awakened person, teacher, and he was from Europe, Mervin. He passed away again too. And then, well, but that's another story.
But what I mean is this gave me the sense of understanding myself. You know, like when I was way younger, I didn't understand life. I didn't understand why [00:25:00] we were here. Like, it was only to have kids and then get old and die or pay the bills, you know, like all these things. And then this gave me a depth on life and what's the depth?
Presence. But we don't know what is present. Most of the people don't know what is present. Many philosophies, yoga, many meditation teachers talk about it, but they don't, they don't leave it. They don't practice it. For me, I was fortunate enough to have a teacher, a live teacher beside me, you know, and then I traveled the world with him.
I was with, in England with him. I went to United States. We were, he used to have a school in in Austin, in New York, in LA. So I was with him traveling. I was actually like living with him because I find my, my way, my purpose, my, that was for me, you know, and I had the chances to do it. And then he said, look, you have to choose an art, an art form to give all these presences, all your gathering in order for you to, and I didn't find any, [00:26:00] but the martial art. Then I started Jiu Jitsu, I was super passionate about it, and since then, I'm here. So, yeah, it's a peculiar story, but that's like, to make it short as you ask. And, and that was, that was it, that, that's it. And I, I use the, as you mentioned in the beginning, I use the pillars of the fourth way for me to share the way we can be more efficient in our lives.
The fourth way is also another way to say, like, why Wise men way. So, yeah, you see life in a different, different way. And also describe human very, very specific, very detailed. And that help you or help me to understand myself. To see which my, what is my nature? What are my, what do I want? And then it's easier for you to.
Towards your passion, whatever you want to do, and then live a [00:27:00] full life. And I'm, I'm, I'm super happy and super fortunate to, to find this and, and now I'm here. No, like I, I, I was one of the first guys training jitsu actually in Mexico. There was no black belts in Mexico, no Mexico, black belts when I started.
And then I am like the second or third row or breed from black belts Mexican black belts. And then. Even in the world, we are, they say is less than 10, 000 for, for a whole world. So it's 7 billion. So 10, 000 of these guys is not easy. No, it's more than 10 years took me to, to get my black belt. And then,
but I really find my passion there.
And I'm still, I'm now more on teaching. I've been competing a lot, but more now
on teaching and passing this from this attention. Mindsets from these meditation mindsets. So my students are way fast, are learning way faster and also working with their emotions. So I have more integral [00:28:00] way to teach because of work, of course, all my background, right?
Like it's, it's, I'm, I'm not just another black, but in these terms, in terms, not better than anyone.
Angelo: Thank you for sharing all that. The, you know, the, the two things that pop out at me is one, it's like, yeah, the, the possibility for inspiration and like a shift in a life could come from the strangest of circumstances and places right for you to receive that book, visiting your friend and, and when he was locked up, it's like, who would've guessed that that would've been the turning moment in anyone's life?
So I invite everyone to just experience the possibility of like, any moment. in anyone's life can just have the opportunity for radical change and shift. The other thing is as you're sharing about how you teach jujitsu and the meditation practice and all of this, I'm like, Oh man, I need to find a teacher like this.
Like this is, you know, cause I've, I've, I've trained some jujitsu and, and in the gyms that I've gone to, there is this. You know this ego this like desire to like [00:29:00] overpower and win and compete and this and it's like that only gets me so far like maybe there's an initial rush of like oh I want to get better but then at a certain point I'm just like this isn't enriching my life and so hearing you share your story gives me hope that like okay when I everything I do whether it's music or fitness or whatever aspects business whatever aspect of my life it's like do I have the teachers around me that are you leading me in a way that I want to be led, that like is, is, is nourishing
to my soul and my heart.
So I really appreciate you sharing that. And with that, I want to transition into a little bit of
like, you're offering this meditation, you're offering the, the jujitsu
teachings locally where you are, but if somebody, you know, wants
to, you
know, Maybe pick your, your, your brain, your heart
a little bit more about the things that you, you are offering out there.
Like, what is
it that you're
creating and putting out in the world, inviting
people into to explore a little bit of what you have.
Alvaro: Thank you very much, Angelo. Yes, I have my website. It's alsoultrainer. [00:30:00] com and there's a download. You can download a two minute meditation for free. Just you have to give your email so I can keep you posted to those emails on whatever I'm doing. I am working with men's circles now. I'm working with men's circles, Voices of Brotherhood.
It's in Spanish, but for the Latin people that is listening or the ones that understand Spanish. I am I am, facilitating actually in
gatherings with, with, with, them, but what I'm creating is now is courses. I teach online, I can, I can coach online for meditation, meditation, not related to any philosophy or any religious.
It's make, it's more about you getting to know yourself better and to set things up, like, understand yourself order in your mind, order in your heart, understanding your feelings, where you are, as you ask, where you are now, and understand presence. And when, with that, when that's start working.
Everything in life is easier. You know, that's, and [00:31:00] if you're focused, if you're focused, if you have a goal, it's easier to reach. If you don't have a goal, it's going to take longer. I'm not saying you won't get it, but sometimes it takes too much time. You can be more efficient. So that's my tool. So those are, that's my medicine.
That's the medicine I share. And of course I, I developed, not of course, but I have developed a method using four way pillars and martial arts. And then you can be more efficient in your life in anything. If your, if your goals is getting better at your relationship with your kids, with your, with your woman, in work, professionally.
I'm like a martial artist. I have some students that are world champions. I have MMA fighters under my, my wing. And, and this is all about mindsets. It's all about knowing yourself. It's all about what you said. You said yeah, I, I've been teaching girls self defense [00:32:00] and there was one of my students she couldn't be touched, like someone told her she would get really, really stressed.
Because of abuse and just to make the story short, in one year she was competing in BJJ and she was winning medals. She was not able to be touched, Angelo. If you put a hand on her, like, Hi, how are you? She would be like jumping two meters away from you, you know? And she would start crying in the, in the, I, I, I honor her because She was super determined, she understand what she wanted, and she knew that that was a limitation in her life.
And she was a really good she, she had a very good job she was a manager and all, but she had these limitations. So, she said like, I like your, your, your, the way you're working, and I said, if you commit. So we started with private classes, of course in person, and then sometimes she went running to the bathroom, something triggered her.
And it's. It's tough, man, to see her, and I have [00:33:00] a daughter, and you know, it's tough. But we overcome. She went through, but she was determined. She was very brave. She is very brave. She's very determined. I'm super honored to meet her. But then, after a year, she was competing. She was competing and I'm super proud.
No. And well, this is the service I'm, I'm, I'm trying to put out there guys also, no guys that never fought in their lives. They are afraid of encountering a combat or a confrontation. Let's stay away from, from punching or, or, you know, getting physically, but confrontation, like they never confront anyone.
And then through martial arts, through mindset, through understanding your challenges. You can, you can be liberated from all these chains, you know, and that's what I'm, that's why I said I'm living my, my, my, my dream life. I'm now, I'm serving in, in with all these tools I've been gathering to put it out there.
I don't save anything for [00:34:00] myself. I just put everything I know, everything. So yeah, welcome everyone. This opportunity you're giving me here is to reach for more people. I got good decent English, so I can have English speaking students. I have people in Australia and California, United States, Tennessee, Chicago UK, and of course, Mexico, Latin America, Spain.
So I'm trying to get the more I am learning French. So hopefully in a couple of years I
will be teaching in French.
Angelo: Amazing, man. Amazing. Thank you for sharing all that. I'll have a link to your website in the show notes.
So if you're interested in connecting with Alvaro, you have
a way to
do that. Alvaro, before we close out, I just want to, you know, you, you've shared so much. There's, there's so much in this episode that I think anybody
can just like, Take one piece of what you said and, and use that for
weeks on end to kind of explore themselves a little bit deeper.
But I just want to
give you one last chance, the floor here, the mic is there any one final piece of [00:35:00] advice or message you want to put out there for the listeners that you
think, Hey, this might be important for somebody who's listening.
Alvaro: Yeah, give yourself a chance to meditate, to listen to yourself, take a step out or down or slow down for a, for a few minutes a day,
just to listen to your body, to
listen to your breathing, to be present, to listen to the birds, to whatever is going on in your
life right now. And then. Try to journal. These ways is very, very safe, very, very healthy to keep yourself in good, in good terms with, with life, with everything.
No. So be present, look for help. Sometimes you need to reach out. You need to leave your hand, you know, step, step up. And but sometimes it's just to listen to yourself, not to be present, to be mindful about what's going on. And I think with that. And if no, you can reach out like, there's people like me, not only me, but there's people that is a men's circles, a sacred song, shout [00:36:00] out to the sacred songs.
There are many ways that you can understand a better or a different way of life. If you're, you think you're lost, you don't find purpose. There's always a purpose. You just have to listen. Sometimes we don't have, it's so much going on, so much going on in our lives. The technology, da da da da da, and we are lost.
What you can find, you have to stop. Give it a pause, and then breathe, and then do that every day. It's gonna be a change, I guarantee.
Angelo: Yes, sir. Absolutely. I, I appreciate you offering like not just a mental piece of advice, but like a physical action that somebody can take is as I try and keep reminding myself and others that this journey is not a passive journey. It's not how many podcasts you listen to or how many books you read or how many movies you watch.
It's like, what actions are you willing to take from that information that you're gathering? It's like, of course, listen to all of it, read the things, watch the things, you know, listen to the lectures, the [00:37:00] speakers, but your life will change once you start taking that action. So as Alvarez says, start doing some meditation, some breathing, some slowing down, some journaling and take, take those small steps and see what comes up for you and when you need it. So Alvaro, thank you so much for being here. As we close out, I always like to close out these conversations with a little bit of a visualization to invite you into and just see what the final last piece that you want to say is about. And if you're listening, I invite you to close down your eyes and take a breath and experience it as well for yourself and see what it is that you
want to say.
So Alvaro, I invite you to take a nice deep breath and close down your eyes
and you find yourself on an open field. And thousands of men are with you, and you are about to address the world.
You begin to speak, and I want you to finish this sentence.
We are the men who
Alvaro: Want to be present
Angelo: . We... are the men who want to be present. Thank you [00:38:00] avro. Thank you for being here Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insights and thank you for joining us on the we are the men podcast We are the men is a global movement and I want to invite you The listener to be a part of it, go to, we are the men. com to sign up for our mailing list and learn how you can get involved.
If you like what you heard, please take a moment to rate and follow this podcast to help us reach more listeners. All of us know men who could benefit from hearing these conversations and engaging with our community. Please share this podcast today with someone, you know, I'm Angelo Santiago, and we.
